You
see, I am an introvert who nonetheless manages to play the extrovert—I do enjoy
people, after all—but then needs a rest, alone, in quiet, probably why I’m a
promoter of contemplation. Throughout my life, however, I have felt constantly
compared to what Cain calls “The Extrovert Ideal,” sometimes by my own hand,
and sometimes at the hands of others, including American culture and the
church. For example, I realize now that preaching or even speaking from a
manuscript is not deficient, as I have been told, but my strength. Oh, for
President Obama’s teleprompters!
Acknowledging
the need for both extroverts and introverts, Cain, an introvert, strikes a blow
(though that’s usually an extrovert’s temperament) for the necessity of
introverts. Studies suggest that introverts are usually “high-reactives” to
stimuli, and thus need to limit our exposure. Another word that is used is
“sensitive.” We need time to observe, reflect, and consider situations, people,
and events prior to speaking or taking action.
That’s
why I insist on a “monastic moment” of silence when I pose a question to people
in a workshop or retreat, a moment to turn inward, consult one’s own experience
and feelings and thoughts, before opening general discussion. My experience has
been that others are quick to express their thoughts before I have had a chance
to consult my own experience. I thought Sir Thomas More’s Utopia had it right
when its legislature vigorously debated a concern but waited till the next day
to take action! Cain writes, “Congress…is made up of some of the least
sensitive people in the country” because to get elected and re-elected virtually
requires an extrovert’s temperament.
That’s
also why I wrote a post two weeks ago about experiencing spiritual community
outside of church, what I had thought of calling “spirituality for loners.”
Several pastors took me to task on Facebook, though in previous posts I have
acknowledged that church and worship are worthy spiritual disciplines. But as I have discovered the need for silence
in my own spiritual practices, I have looked for more silence in worship, and
when it is interrupted or when worship gets raucous it sounds to me like
fingernails scratching a chalkboard. And I reclaim words I found appealing in
college, words from Alfred North Whitehead, “Religion is what the individual
does with his own solitariness.”
The
post opened me to pleasant conversation with Sam Troxal, a young and gifted
blogger, and with a role model pastor and author, J. Barrie Shepherd. Barrie, a
regular reader of this blog (I am proud to say), has written many books of
poetry whose daily rhythms encouraged me to pray regularly long ago. I
appreciate the fact that in poetry, pauses are as vital as words, and an
economy of words are carefully, thoughtfully selected to convey exactly what is
intended. In my book of “secular” poetic meditations, Communion of Life, I called poets “secular mystics.”
For
all my weary, reasoned doubt,
the
continuing disillusion and despair
of
this already blood-drenched century,
for
all my anger at her blind echoing
of
the worst that hides in all of us,
come
Sunday morning, somehow,
I
still find myself in church.
I
have questioned whether it is the church’s “blind echoing” of prejudice against
LGBT people that prompts me to seek other counsel and other forms of worship.
But it is also true that the expected conformity and the lack of silence and
gentle voices are also factors. And what presents itself as teamwork,
collaboration, or democratic process is too often an opportunity for
extroverts—sometimes with less experience and expertise, or worse, less
compassion and wisdom—to outtalk and occasionally bully others!
So
I’ve been wondering about whether Jesus was an introvert or an extrovert. Obviously
I may be projecting, but I believe he was an introvert. He was certainly a
“high reactive” to religious hypocrisy and “sensitive” to religious outcasts. When
tempted in his solitary sojourn in the wilderness by relevance, sensationalism,
and power, he resisted. Though followed by multitudes seeking healings and
teachings, he found lonely places to pray or a boat from which to preach. He
called 12 disciples, and taught them privately. Perhaps it was the temperament
of being introverts that Jesus shared with “the disciple whom Jesus
(especially) loved” who gave us the most mystical gospel. But without
extroverts like Peter and Paul, the world may not have been evangelized.
That
may be the power of the Spirit, that gives even introverts the gift of speech.
Yet it is also the Spirit’s gift to hear God’s voice in “the sound of sheer
silence” that follows the storm, the earthquake, and the fire.
Copyright © 2013 by
Chris R. Glaser. Permission granted for non-profit use with attribution of
author and blogsite. Other rights reserved. Check out past posts in the right
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