“Be
perfect as your God in heaven is perfect.”
Easy
for Jesus to say! But as a fundamentalist Christian kid, I believed this was my
goal. It made perfect sense to me. Except there was one area of my life in
which I would never be “perfect”: I had these feelings for other boys, not just
of attraction, but of love. And such tender feelings had no place between boys
in the 1950s.
A
recent study verifies “the best little boy in the world” syndrome among gay men,
according to a New York Times op-ed.
To make up for our “deficit,” we had to be the best somewhere else—in studies,
sports, stage, spirituality, social action, or service, to name a few that
alliterate nicely.
Long
before I learned that the term translated “perfect” actually suggests “complete”
as in “mature,” I had exchanged my childish goal of perfection for a
spiritually mature goal of integrity, to the benefit of my spiritual, mental,
and physical health and well-being.
Integrity
itself is a lofty goal, of course. And it is a lifelong process. Perfection has
the feeling of having arrived, being complete in and of oneself. But
integrating your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, experiences, speech, and actions is a
daily process that is never completed. I like to say that, in the spiritual
life, there is no “finish line.”
It
was not until later that I paid adequate attention to the alternate version of
Matthew’s “be perfect as your God in heaven is perfect.” I don’t know how I overlooked
Luke’s version, “Be merciful as God is merciful” or, in another translation, “Be
compassionate just as God is compassionate.”
That
to me would have been an attainable goal even as a kid. Needing compassion
myself for my “flaw,” I readily offered compassion to others. Even adults felt
encouraged to share with me their most deeply felt feelings. I had a good ear. Intuitively,
I was Henri Nouwen’s “wounded healer.” That’s one of the reasons why I felt
called to ministry.
Listening
to—at first, dozens, and by now, thousands of—people gave my call to ministry a
prophetic edge. I just wanted to be a pastor, but now, I had a mission. Or,
better said, a passion. Nouwen liked to parse words, and pointed out that
“compassion” literally means “suffering (passion) with (com).”
At
first my passion was largely expressed in the movements for Civil Rights,
Peace, and LGBT inclusion and equality. But it was always felt for ALL those
excluded and diminished by the church and culture, those made to feel that they
were not “perfect,” but who nonetheless struggled for integrity, and struggled
to be compassionate. I imagine most readers of this blog know that experience.
I
believe that’s what progressive Christianity does in its finer moments: gathers
outsiders as “a mother hen gathers her brood under her wing,” just as Jesus
wished.
Related
posts:
Copyright © 2013 by
Chris R. Glaser. Permission granted for non-profit use with attribution of
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Thanks Chris - always enjoy reading your blog!
ReplyDeleteI have heard "You, therefore, must be perfect, as your heavenly Father is Perfect" as having the meaning "there is no way you cannot be perfect, since you are created in the image of your heavenly Father" -- A statement of fact rather than a commandment. (This, of course, coming from my metaphysical, New Thought background.)
Thanks, Rob--a splendid way of interpreting it! I was always taught it as a command rather than a statement of fact. If only...!
DeleteExtraordinarily timely post! Just before I came upstairs to check my e-mail and favorite blogs, I was listening to the NPR coverage of the BSA discussion of whether or not to allow (openly) gay scouts and leaders. I was thinking about exactly the fact you touched on; what the Scouts are presumably seeking to instill is exactly that spirit of integrity and compassion that epitomizes a truly mature spiritual personality. There is no way there are NOT going to be gay individuals who will be drawn to scouting. The only question is whether their spiritual maturity will be enhanced by allowing them to openly acknowledge their feelings of same-sex attraction, or whether they will continue to "hide" in order to not be deprived of the benefits of scouting. The latter is, as everyone with an ounce of sense realizes, the exact opposite of the ideals we are trying to teach.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you've connected the post to something current, like the gay scouts discussion. Thanks, Trudie, for this thoughtful and timely reply!
DeleteI certainly WAS a BLBITW. I still endeavour to treat others (and myself) appropriately, but my external standards are less "what will the neighbours think" than they were when I was young.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, Chris!
DeleteI am still grateful to my fundamentalist-preacher father for pointing out that the word 'perfect' in the Bible could more accurately have been translated 'complete', and didn't mean 'flawless' at all.
ReplyDeleteSorry for the delay posting your reply! I lost internet connection yesterday afternoon and evening. Robert, I want to add that I'm grateful for my fundamentalist upbringing. It gave me passion for the faith and a great love of the Bible. And though the fundamentalist school I attended (and where my mom taught first grade) could be narrow and rigid, the American Baptist church I attended could be open and relaxed, as could my parents. I'm glad your dad explained the intent of the word "perfect."
DeleteThank you for this today. This was especially relevant to me - and I appreciate your pointing out the difference of Luke's wording in his gospel narrative. :-) I think you last line is especially relevant considering the Pope's declaration today that ALL who do good are redeemed and we are ALL called to social action, even atheists! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your response! Sorry for the delay in posting--I was without internet access at the time you replied. I hadn't heard the Pope's declaration--sounds like good news again from this man! I have hopes for Pope Francis. Thanks for telling me, Zac!
DeleteZac, most atheists I know are very actively involved in social action, giving of their time and money; they didn't need to Pope to tell them.
DeleteBeau, I think you mistake Zac's intent, and that is to say that atheists too "do good" and "are redeemed." Of course they would not be instructed by the pope, and they may take issue with any need for redemption.
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