Wildflowers along our morning walk.
Very
early Sunday morning, I felt Wade’s breath on my bare shoulder. That simple
touch begat my morning meditation. The sensation reminded me that he was there,
but also, that I was there.
And
I began to think of the Gospel of John’s version of Pentecost, the giving of the
Holy Spirit. “Peace be with you,” Jesus said, after appearing to his disciples despite
their doors locked against the authorities, religious and political. After
showing his wounds to make clear he was not a ghost, Jesus simply breathed on
the disciples, saying, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” With this breath they (and
we) are sent into the world.
Less
dramatic and sparser sermonic fodder than the Acts’ story of Pentecost, but this
is probably how most of us encounter the Holy Spirit, that Spirit of God embodied
in Jesus and passed on to those who attempt to live God’s will for justice,
mercy, and compassion. A breath that reminds us God is with us, even within us,
and reassures us that we are here.
It’s
the breath of creation and evolution, of meditation and inspiration, of
sensuality and spirituality. In troubled and busy times, it’s the breath we
catch to find peace.
John’s
Gospel is thought to be the most mystical of the four in our Bible, but it is
arguably also the most physical and sensual, after all, it begins with God’s
Word becoming flesh. In it, Jesus is referred to as the bread from heaven, living
water to quench all thirst, the vine that sustains us branches, the source of our
second birth, a good shepherd who calls us by name. He elevates physical well-being
above religious rules by healing on the sabbath, disassociates disability from
sin in healing one born blind, and offers us abundant life. He appreciates familial
intimacy with Martha and Mary and Lazarus, and is crushed by the latter’s death,
prompting him to call him back to life. He cradles an especially beloved
disciple at the last supper and washes his disciples’ feet, and appears first
to a grief-stricken (lovesick?) Mary when resurrected.
That
his breath outpours the Holy Spirit fits the sensuality of this Gospel and, of
course, parallels the breath Yahweh breathed into the chest of the first human
creature. Biblically, breath and spirit are used interchangeably, as the same
word may be used for either.
All
of this did not come in my Sunday morning meditation, of course, but something
I did ponder is the role of Jesus in my life. I’ve been re-reading Henri Nouwen’s
Reaching Out about prayer and the spiritual life and noticed his
reference to the ancient and traditional “Jesus prayer,” which he renders, “Lord
Jesus Christ, have mercy upon me,” leaving out the end, “a sinner.” I guess
that’s how I came also to leave out that self-disparaging ending, because this
particular book came from his notes for my first course with Henri at Yale
Divinity School. I always associated the prayer with those in the Bible in need
of healing who cry for mercy, a broader application of the principle.
In
this way, I’ve been occasionally praying this prayer, in that, as I age, I am
feeling more vulnerable, more fragile. And though it’s comforting to address it
to Jesus, my theology prompts me more often to pray, “Lord God, have mercy on
me.” During my morning meditation this past Sunday I concluded that it doesn’t
really matter to whom I address the prayer, as Jesus best represents God to me
and I doubt that neither really care!
As
I enjoyed Wade’s breath on my shoulder, I thought how comforting to think of Jesus’
or God’s breath on me.
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I love the way you write! You bring so much of your life to the page and then back into life in my own mind. Thank you for breathing life into your words for us, your readers.
ReplyDeleteI am in the process of ending an often-neglectful, sometimes-abusive marriage of 23 years. This has taken a long period of discernment from me, and a lot of courage. Now, waiting for the legal wranglings to wrap up is agonizingly long. This past Sunday was very difficult for me; I was blue, and tearful. A dear friend came over to comfort me. He could see that I was hyperventilating, overcome with emotion. He held me and said, "breathe. Breathe in, and let it out slowly." For several minutes, he coached me through the simple effort of collecting myself, and calming myself, caring for me by telling me how to BREATHE. Thank you for your beautiful post of how our breath is a reminder of God's love.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this! Touching and helpful! My thoughts are with you!
DeleteWhen I was taught the Jesus Prayer it was: Jesus Christ Son of the living God, have mercy upon me. The addition of the reminder, Son of the living God is such an important one. The reminder that the God who sent His Son is still very present, loving, interested.
ReplyDelete