Copyright © 2012
by Chris R. Glaser. All rights reserved. Permission granted for non-profit use
with attribution of author and blogsite.
“For God’s sake,
chill!”
These cloying
words of rebuke from an outside observer were addressed to none other than me
as I sat with friends on a beach in Laguna, California, more than 20 years ago.
My fellow players of a board game were using different rules than I learned
growing up. I hadn’t gone so far as my sister’s ploy when losing to turn the
board over to see if it was made in Japan! But I had let my displeasure show
enough to register with a nearby beachgoer sunning himself, who called me up
short with his, “Oh, for God’s sake, chill.”
How dare this
outsider tell me what to do? He had no idea the trouble I’d taken to make this
weekend jaunt to the beach possible for the four of us, checking schedules,
booking lodging, making the picnic, chilling the beer, and bringing the
(expletive deleted) game in the first place. If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t
be here enjoying the sun, sand, surf—and this stupid game!
But this outsider
demonstrated that spiritual direction can come from the most unexpected people
in the most unexpected places at the most unexpected times!
Though I told him
to mind his own business and adopted an indignantly self-righteous attitude, I
was immediately ashamed of my lack of generosity of spirit, my need for
control, my thinking my friends “owed me” for making our outing possible.
“Girl, what was I thinking?!” To think how dearly I loved each of them! Yet
it’s the ones we care most about or care most about us that we hurt most often
and easily.
“Forgive us our
debts, as we forgive our debtors,” we say in the Lord’s Prayer. Though we owe
God everything, yet we often feel that others owe us for what we’ve done for
them.
William
Countryman points out in his book Dirt, Greed, and Sex: Sexual Ethics in the
New Testament and Their Implications for Today that people in biblical times
lived with an understanding of limited resources—there was only so much to go
around. Thus greed was the greatest sin, because to desire something for
oneself was to take it away from somebody else.
In this
context—this world of limited resources—we have stories of Jesus feeding the
five thousand and the four thousand from limited resources. In John’s version,
he uses a boy’s meager lunch, blessing and breaking the loaves and fishes until
there was enough for all.
When feeling less
than generous, yearning for credit, expecting a certain outcome from my
efforts, it’s good to remember the words of my Laguna prophet:
“For God’s sake,
chill!”
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Thanks, Chris...an extremely helpful and delightful story. This calls to mind the discussion of the "energy centers" that Thomas Keating describes so effectively in "Invitation to Love". As humans, we grow up with the ongoing needs for affection, esteem and approval, as well as for power and control even over very trivial circumstances. It is amazing how often these needs are challenged. When our own inner observer neglects to remind us to "let it go", sometimes the Holy Spirit sends us an outside observer in the form of a total stranger as a helpful reminder.
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