The
question that titles this post reminds me of a question put to Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz: Are you a good witch
or a bad witch? Many years ago I played with the metaphor in a sermon for More
Light Presbyterians during the Wichita General Assembly, in the wake of the
controversy over the Re-Imagining conference where Christian women “dared” to
re-imagine God. My sermon title was, “Which Witch is Which in Wichita?”
Narcissism
is much discussed these days, from national leaders to everyday postings on
Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Long before that, I have wondered about my
own narcissism in writing a blog. At its inception I intended that it not be
about me, but about enhancing the spirituality of progressive Christians—a kind
of grounding for who we are, what we believe, and what we do. But I soon found
I couldn’t leave myself out of the equation. I need to write about who I am,
what I believe, and what I at least try
to do.
For
years I carried in my wallet the best counsel I’ve received in a fortune
cookie: “Your romantic life is interesting only to you.” The thought makes me
smile, and keeps me in check when I begin to assume too much about my own
experience, not just romantic.
I
believe it was the author John Updike* who said writers believe our lives are
interesting. That is certainly true for me, but I would qualify Updike’s
assertion by saying writers just plain believe that LIFE is interesting. We try, with mere words, to capture or reflect
or reveal the wonder, passion, beauty, complexity, humor, and drama of it all.
But, to invert Gertrude Stein’s famous phrase, if there is to be a “there
there,” we have to put ourselves in the midst and mix of words. I believe this
is true even in, and perhaps especially in, writing fiction.
This
is not unlike any artist or preacher or performer who needs to be center stage to
accomplish their art, proclaim the gospel, or entertain. When any of these persons
do not seem to be “present,” they are accused of “phoning in” their
performance. So a touch of narcissism—awareness of how we are perceived, how we
wish to be perceived, or how we perceive ourselves—is needed to put ourselves
“out there” and put ourselves “on the line.”
The
current conversation about narcissism wisely distinguishes “good” narcissism
from “bad” narcissism. Bad narcissists are those who are so full of themselves and
so focused on their own needs, desires, and plans that others are either ignored,
derided, destroyed, or exploited. In contrast, good narcissists humbly offer themselves
and their stories in hopes of improving others’ lives. (An excellent example of
this is Henri Nouwen’s many books on his life events and experiences.)
I
believe it was in the hope of improving others’ lives that Jesus reportedly
said, “I, when lifted up from the earth, will draw all people to myself” (John
12:32). The gospel writer John, the mystic, and patron saint of Celtic
Christianity, gives us a Jesus who knows his place in the cosmic drama of “one-ing”
us with God.
Whether or not we believe John’s word of Jesus’ certainty, almost
all of the stories we have of Jesus in the Gospels suggest he had a strong
sense of what God was asking of him, of us. As we who follow Jesus have our own
sense of call deepened, bad narcissism will be recognized as “a noisy gong or a
clanging cymbal” (1 Corinthians 13:1) and good narcissism will be revealed in faith,
hope, and especially, love.
*The
closest Updike quote to this I could find is from an interview in a Zagreb
literary magazine in 1979, later translated in English in The New Yorker in 2009: “Every man’s life is infinitely precious,
at least to him, and somehow infinitely interesting. … Maybe the wish to write
is somehow connected with…I wish to say that life is sacred.”
On each day of Holy Week this year (March 26-April 1), you
might want to reflect upon these earlier posts on Jesus’ Seven Last Words from the
cross:
Friday:
“I Thirst”
Saturday:
“It Is Finished”
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