We
had planned a brunch in their honor after service, and though their
accompanying guards required them to sit together, I was able to talk with them
a little by visiting their tables. I was stunned to discover that this outing
was a first for one woman incarcerated in her youth decades before. Another
told of her astonishment when she first saw a self-opening door.
When
the women left, tears came to my eyes as I watched them march out the
sanctuary’s front doors single file and now handcuffed. We exchanged smiles and
farewells but of course no handshakes as, one by one, they passed by to the
prison bus outside. Some of them had a sweater or something draped over their
hands so the handcuffs were not so noticeable.
I
think of the handcuffs on many religious people who are bound by beliefs that
limit not only their experience of themselves, of the world, and of God, but
also prevent their embrace of so many people they think don’t belong in church or
consider unworthy of rights and privileges. I believe there is a direct relationship
between opening our minds spiritually and opening our hearts to others.
I’ve
also seen handcuffs on those who long ago left the church, before their
spiritual formation was complete. Their spiritual growth was stunted, many
holding prejudices taught them as children in tension with the easy youthful
judgment of hypocrisy. An example I’ve witnessed repeatedly are those outside
the church who nonetheless say one can’t be progressive and Christian, while
dismissing the church for being so conservative!
I’ve
just come from a retreat I co-lead annually for gay and bisexual Christian men
at Kirkridge, a retreat center with many progressive Christian programs. One-third
of the men were new to this retreat; two-thirds were returning after one to
twenty retreats. All of us use the opportunity to discover new aps for old
beliefs, as well as expanding our spiritual horizons to such new thinking as
queer theology. We bond also as a church away from church, a home away from
home. So important has this become that many who have passed on have had their
ashes interred or sprinkled in the memorial garden.
In
his book Soul Friend, Kenneth Leech
calls a retreat “an essential feature of serious Christian living,” adding, “A
retreat is a time of awakening, of new vision and new zest. Hugh Maycock once
described the retreat conductor’s role as being to ‘astonish the soul.’ Another
major part of a retreat is to allow an individual to relax and expand at
leisure, to give some creative space in which to grow.”
I
would suggest a metaphor for the retreat experience is the story of Lazarus
raised from a confining tomb, with fellow retreatants rolling the stone from its
exit and removing the paralyzing death cloths (spiritual handcuffs) so he may
newly engage Jesus, family, neighbors, and God. To Lazarus, Jesus said, “Come
out!” And to his neighbors he said, “Unbind him and let him go.”
Copyright © 2012 by
Chris R. Glaser. All rights reserved. Permission granted for non-profit use
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